Memos from Earth
By Coryna Ogunseitan
Back by popular demand, bad buddhists brings you Coryna Ogunseitan and her wacky, genre-bending piece, Memos from Earth. Feline and dinosaur fans, unite! I sense some influence from Octavia Butler and Star Trek, perhaps? Thank Coryna and the gods for science fiction and all of its permutations, because some of us desperately need to be transported to other times and places in order to survive our current realities. Deep bows for the laughter and fun, Coryna. I, for one, will gladly surrender to large house cats for a free planet.
--anuradha bhagwati, executive editor
Memos from Earth
Everyone mad at rich humans. Thus far unable to design targeted interventions to eliminate only 1%. Project to eliminate rich humans overseen by wooly mammoth ghosts. Very slow. Stuck in ice age if you ask me. Mammoths say slow = their culture. Don’t want DEI report, so ignore this remark and end meeting early. DEI report = audit = PITB.
But dino ghosts mad at mammoths - want oversight of human removal project themselves. I say dinos = vengeful and reactive. I say vengeful < slow. Dinos still mad about human destruction of sacred grave sites etc.
I say to dinos, I’m a rock, what am I supposed to do about humans burning sacred remains for fuel, besides your religion is not their religion. Humans obsessed w/divine humans—two bearded man ghosts in particular. Bearded man-ghosts ok, under my oversight, insubordinate at times. Ineffective at advising project to end destruction of dino graves. Divine humans want “renewable energy”: sun, water.
I say nothing is permanent. Talked to Sun other day, wants to retire early. Called FIRE movement: fuck it retire early. Sun bought stock in distant galaxy to facilitate FIRE. I think risky investment. Gossip w/Moon: Sun = lazy, overrated.
Dinos don’t care if humans go extinct. Wooly mammoths contracted to curb human population but avoid extinction. But dinos think humans deserve b/c humans = capitalists, and dinos governed self-proclaimed “socialist utopia.” This is ghost of T-Rex, King Rex who says so. For me, King Rex = brocialist. Personally preferred matriarchal anarchist structure of amphibian queendoms.
Anyway I say to dinos I’m only a rock and humans = flea-like baby species, annoying, hard to control, like toddler. Earth (me) not baby-proofed. Dinos say well you may be a rock but we’re dead. Wonder when they will stop playing dead card. Asteroid hurt me too. Understand our experiences not comparable. “Oppression Olympics” - good human invention. Not concept, phrase. Also Abba, Miriam Makeba, bossa nova, Bollywood.
New project idea: preserve only artist humans? Keep in contained environments under care of more responsible species? But who? Dolphins = sadists; orcas = vengeful. Dogs good but gullible. Perhaps large house cat. No longer “house” of course. Thinking 40-50 lbs. Lions too big + neurotic. Smart 40-pound kitty. Will make note to send to R&D.
Saw meme other day w/ancient Egyptian cat (considered sacred) receiving report back from modern day human-owned house cat. House cat says: “Don’t worry, humans still work for us.” Egyptian cat: “Good.” Meanwhile wolf checking in w/house dog. Wolf: “Roar! Roar! Roar!” House dog: “can u pick me up onto the sofa I’m sleepy.” Wolf disgusted by offspring’s attitude, like little bitch. I understand wolf. Feel all my creations (plants, animals) = little bitches. Except cats. Cats = masterpiece.
Coryna Ogunseitan is a Yoruba Buddhist and yogini based on unceded Lisjan Ohlone land colonized as Oakland, California. Coryna is pursuing a PhD in medical anthropology to research how climate change impacts mental health, and is also the program manager of Beloved Community Circles, an emerging decentralized network of circles of people committed to using dharma to support their local racial and climate justice work.